Friday, June 15, 2007
The Raven
After the ‘flower of French chivalry’ (I had dealings with some of those men, bugger their own sisters for a ducat, most of them would) fell at Azincourt, the Dwarves put their prices up. Those thick-headed and thick-tongued mercenaries began to look prettier to your crusading Kings than a wholesome village maid after a spell in the Holy Land. Your average dwarf wouldn’t shy at a row of stakes and a few arrows falling from the sky, mark my words.
So I often found myself negotiating in the Dwarven camps, usually soaked with the spray from fifty beer tankards—they love their toasts, those Dwarves—and the spittle of a mercenary captain as he barked orders into my face. None can touch the Dwarves for feasting and carousing, and few for fighting, so I did not even try. Instead, I employed a simpler strategem to win their trust.
I drank.
Since my younger years, and despite my slight build, I have had an impressive capacity for beer. In a profession such as mine, having a clear head can often be the difference between keeping it and losing it, so it is a skill that has come in handy more than once. When dealing with dwarves, for example while discussing the price to engage Bearach Mac Dhonnchaidh’s band of spear-chucking miscreants in yet another petty skirmish, I repeatedly interrupted my host with such enthusiastic shouts as “to your mother’s beard!” and “to the lochs and glens of your homeland!” and watched him drain tankard after tankard as big as his head.
After five hours or so of keeping the beer flowing, old Mac Dhonnchaidh was ready to bequeath me his family farm.
Comments
Reminds me of a “Caber Toss” event during last years Highland Games, lol.
Dark.
Posted by: DarkPadawan at June 15, 2007 12:35 PM
I bet Mac Dhonnchaidh was doing a bit of caber tossing too after that party …
Posted by: Universal Head at June 15, 2007 12:40 PM
Well that seems to imply that the spear bearers in the up coming Dwarven Battalion will have some ability that allows a ranged attack. Cool!
Posted by: Phloid at June 15, 2007 1:07 PM
Quote: “After the ‘flower of French chivalry’ (I had dealings with some of those men, bugger their own sisters for a ducat, most of them would) fell at Azincourt, the Dwarves put their prices up. Those thick-headed and thick-tongued mercenaries began to look prettier to your crusading Kings than a wholesome village maid after a spell in the Holy Land.” End quote.
===
I guess we’re “among friends” and this website is, admittedly, off bit off the beaten path, but, is this sort of “bugger-your-sister, take-a-Dwarf-over-a-maid” background fluff and imagery really necessary to promote the game???
Posted by: BradyLS at June 16, 2007 5:06 PM
Sorry if you’re so offended BradyLS, but period accuracy must be served … these were the years before political correctness, after all …
Of course, this is not an official DoW site, I must stress, and the Raven answers to no one.
Posted by: Universal Head at June 17, 2007 1:59 AM
Oh, and I can’t help but mention that the ‘take-a-Dwarf-over-a-maid’ inference is yours entirely - I believe the Raven meant that the dwarves were looking very attractive as mercenaries.
Posted by: Universal Head at June 17, 2007 8:13 AM
Why does the Dwarven figure have a green base?
Posted by: Mark at June 18, 2007 9:49 PM
That UI is a little hard to work out. Click on the envelope, then when the photo appears, move to the right of the image, and next buttons appear. What were you guys in a previous life? CIA agents? Psychology experimenters? Kiddie proof screw top inventors? Nice photos, though.
Posted by: Adam Knight at June 19, 2007 3:47 AM
Graphics designers, just like in this life! (ie not Javascript coders) - the pop-up image window is a free Javascript code that is becoming more common these days on the internet.
I could describe the interface each time I use it but that would be pretty boring - anyway, in almost all cases I only use it for single photos, so the next and previous buttons aren’t necessary. In this case I’ve linked together the recent Raven images so you can navigate between them, but it’s not essential; each has it’s own post.
Posted by: Universal Head at June 19, 2007 4:20 AM
Thanks, I’ve had my grump, I feel much better now :) The pills are helping as well ;)
Posted by: Adam Knight at June 20, 2007 11:42 PM